My Big Brother

I always said Paul was a big brother that longed for a little brother to protect and fight for. I was meant to be that little brother but probably because I was a bit too safe and perhaps slightly boring in my younger years, Paul went to seek out other adventures far and wide. It's the only way I could explain why he would often be fighting someone else's battle even if it meant he had to create the drama himself to ensure someone somewhere was rescued. This also meant that sometimes we found ourselves embroiled in rescuing him too, but whatever the situation it always ended in smiles.

'That man is a cat with 20 lives', my Uncle would often say. 'Anyone else would have been hung from a tree or died in the first instant but not Paul'.  He had a passion for life and music. He saw himself as the robbed double of Usher and an acapella version of Tupac. I can't hear a Tupac song without hearing Paul's voice belting along at the top of his lungs. My brother had a zest for life and could preach a whole Church sermon using Tupac lyrics. I recall running up the steps to his apartment and I could often hear his music belting out from the ground floor of a three-story building. His neighbours had long given up on trying to bargain with him and had to accept their fate that you either move out or live with it. I recall the twinkle in his eyes when we were younger and he knew he had you trapped where you were defenceless to his charm. A good example is where he had offered to pick me up one time and decided that my life was his to toy with and he drove so recklessly fast while belting tunes to drown out my please for him to stop.

It's fair to say that Paul was a cheeky and loving child growing up, he had a mischievous grin that let you know he was always up to something and a sense of humour that allowed him to get out of jail in any given situation. He was clearly the apple of my Mum’s eye even though he probably caused her the most stress. That says it all about Paul, he is the only person I know that can have you smiling, crying, shouting and laughing your head off all in one setting.

Paul's greatest gift was the ability to brighten up a room with joyful laughter. I’m yet to meet anyone with a bigger heart. It’s a teaching I know our parents instilled in us but Paul took it to a whole new level. I recall how he would always buy presents in 3’s because 1 was never enough. The same with birthday cards, and they had to be the biggest. I recall how he used to shower my kid’s with huge teddy bears or dinosaurs the size of a human’s without giving a second thought for where they will be stored. I still get told by many friends of his, how he helped them in life changing ways or acts of kindness that defies logic. One such friend recently told me how Paul left his hospital to travel 4 hours to visit him in hospital just to deliver pounded yam and egusi before heading all the way back to his hospital bed that same day.

One way he certainly impacted my life was through his resilience and will power to never give up. It’s certainly an 'Emuan' trait but he took it to new heights. He also demonstrated this in his later years with his long fight with health issues by smashing hospital records and defying the medical consultants for several years.

I’m going to miss you loads big bro, I know my voice sounds like yours sometimes and it’s a comfort in some ways that I know I have a version of you in me which I can turn on like my own incredible hulk. That’s how I choose to remember you, as my incredible brother. You have run your race and left a fine legacy in your son Adam who I know will continue to do us all proud. Rest easy brother, thanks for the laughter, craziness, love, and fun memories until we meet again.

Love always, David.